Bittersweet Victory

The Baltimore Ravens won the Super Bowl last night. Making so many of my friends and family members really really happy.

And I'm happy too. I cheered each touch down and interception, cringed when the 49ers fielded a comeback and was on the edge of my seat as the Ravens defense stopped the 49ers from scoring in the final seconds of the game.

But really, I knew they were going to win. Even when it looked pretty bad, I knew it.

Because of course, after making it to the playoffs for the past five years and the AFC Championship game for the second year in a row, this would be the year they'd win it all. The year when my dad wasn't here to see it.

I think this will always be hard for me. Whether they win it again next year or in 10 years or even 20 years, it's still going to make me think of my dad and really miss him.

But this year, just four months after he died. I am a wreck. A blubbering, sobbing, irrational wreck.

The tears started with the Divisional Championship game, when they beat Denver. I was watching the game at home and was so excited at the end of the game. It was quite a game too. Double overtime, a field goal kick to win it all. I was cheering their victory and then all of the sudden realized I was crying. While my head was in a happy, excited place, I knew those tears weren't happy ones.

I watched the AFC Championship game in Richmond with friends, so that kept me distracted enough to stop the tears. Until I got in the car to leave their house. And turned into a sobbing, irrational wreck.

Yesterday the tears came with each touchdown. And then with all of the news coverage afterwards, that or course, I couldn't turn away from. Today, they came at work when my coworkers commented on how excited I must be about the win, some acknowledging that the Skins are my favorite team but knowing the Ravens are my number two, others commenting on the win in relation to my dad. Either way, I cried.

I just keep coming back to the thought that it's not fair. That game last night was exactly the kind of game my dad would have been fired up about. An early lead from the Ravens would have made him happy, the comeback from the 49ers would have had him ranting that the Ravens were just trying to lose it. He may have even changed the channel at that point. But he would have turned it back, been pulled back in, and been so happy with the win.

I know so much about life isn't fair. And I know there are going to be so many other times in my life that I'm going to miss him SO very much.

But this one, I wasn't expecting it. It took me by surprise and continues to just completely overcome me. I think I've cried more in the past 24 hours than I have in months.

I hate that something that would have made my father so happy is bringing me so many tears.

NFL Football: My Mother's Perspective

In honor of it being Super Bowl Sunday I thought I'd post some of my favorite comments from my mom during this football season:

As the ball is intercepted by the Redskins, "Let go of his leg and let him run! That's not nice"

"They are messing up the picture on the field!"

"Is that our team doing a good job?"

Mom: Well, the other team has to score soon
Me: No, they don't
Mom: But they're going to be mad if they don't
Me: We don't care!!

"I think it would be good sportsmanship if they picked that guy up after they knock him down"

When RGIII got injured against the Ravens, "Which one of those meanies on the Ravens hurt that little guy?"

Mom: Are they going to play against us anymore?
Me: I don't understand, who is "us"?
Mom: The Ravens.
Me: What?!?! I thought your team was the Redskins
Mom: Oh, yeah. Well are we going to play the Ravens again so we can show them who's boss?

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While it would have been nice for the Skins to "show the Ravens who's boss" again I have to say I'm pretty glad we're not settling in for a Battle of the Beltway today. Because if we were, I wouldn't be able to say Go Ravens!

A Class Act

While my primary football allegiance is to the Redskins, I'm a pretty big Ravens fan as well.

I grew up in Baltimore, so the Ravens should be my number 1, especially if you ask my family, but they didn't come to town until the year I left for college and I didn't become a football fan until many years later while I was living deep in Redskins Country.

So the Redskins are my NFC team, the Ravens my AFC team and as long as they aren't playing each other I'm always rooting for both. At this point I do have more Redskins gear than Ravens, but my two favorite cozy, snuggly sweatshirts are Ravens so they get their fair share of wear during football season.

As I wrote about a few weeks back, the Redskins had another awful season and the Ravens had another great one. They made it to the AFC Championship game today and lost 23-20. They had a chance to tie at the end, but the kicker missed, leaving jaw-dropping shocked expressions on the face of the Ravens players and fans alike. It was a pretty heartbreaking way for their really good season to come to an end.

But today's game isn't why I'm blogging about the Ravens tonight. I was inspired by two things. First, because of what Ray Rice, the Ravens leading running back, posted on Facebook:

Left my heart out on that field today. To all the loyal fans, I wish we could have brought home a win...your support means more to me than you will ever know. I'm proud of my team.

And one more thing...games consist of SIXTY MINUTES, NOT 20 seconds so before y'all start bashing MY kicker on this page, let me say this is a TEAM sport, win or lose...so if you want to be negative, keep it to yourself.

As fans it is really easy to get upset when your team loses, but it drives me nuts when people bash the players for their mistakes. These guys are professional athletes who don't get to that level of play without being competitive, hardworking and talented. But being competitive and talented and all the hard work in the world still doesn't make them perfect. But boy do the fans seem to expect perfection from their teams.

I love what Ray Rice posted. It shows true class that he first and foremost thanked the fans and second that he supported his teammate.

My second thing was something that happened a few weeks ago, that also shows the class of the organization from the top down.

This story is a bit complicated, so stick with me here...

A girl I graduated from high school with lost her younger sister to cancer two weeks ago. She was 30 years old and had two young children. It's horribly sad. I knew their family had a connection to the Ravens and learned not to long ago what it was - her stepfather is the team's equipment manager and her mom is the team seamstress. You're surprised football teams need a seamstress too, huh? Apparently jerseys come standard and there is someone who sews for each team to customize them for the player's specifications/preferences /gigantic necks, etc. But I digress...

The services for the girl who passed away were held in the days leading up to the Ravens first playoff game, with the funeral on Friday, two days before. A pretty busy time for the team no doubt, but many of the front office staff, players and coaches attended to pay their respects to the family. And then last Sunday after they won that game, the head coach presented the game ball to the girl's mother.

The football itself I'm sure does nothing to make this time any easier for their family, but having that support from the Ravens organization, I know that meant a lot to them.

I don't know much about other football organizations, but I know the Ravens have a really good one. And I'm proud to call myself a Ravens fan.

I miss Wiggles

My cousin lives on the other side of the country. I miss her a lot, but these days I miss her little munchkin more. I spent a week watching her last summer when her mommy went back to work and I gave her the incredibly appropriate nickname Wiggles.

Today she celebrated Purple Friday (and her first time in a playground swing!) from way way too far away.

Football Giveth and Football Taketh Away

Yesterday was the end of the regular NFL season.

My beloved Redskins ended the season 5-11. It was the Head Coach's worst record in his lengthy and esteemed career (his second worst was last season. Also with the Redskins). Over the past three seasons they've won 15 games. Some perspective for the non-football fans among you, some teams won 14 or 15 games THIS season.

But, I still love the team. I watch the games, while wearing the merchandise and clapping and cheering for each and every touchdown. Even in these hard times I can recognize the effort the players are putting forward and celebrate the individual performances which in many cases are impressive.

My dad is a football fan too. Planning his schedule around the games and staying up well beyond his normal bedtime when his team plays a night game.

And... that's where the similarities end.

His team is the Ravens. My hometown team who didn't move to town until I left for college. A team who won the super bowl a few years after coming to town and has been in the playoffs for the past 4 years, this year ending their season with a 12-4 record, winning their division and landing a second seed playoff spot.

When I called my dad yesterday at the close of the game, when they clinched that wonderful playoff spot, his response was filled with grumbles and complaints. I got a litany of each and every misstep, missed catch and fumbled play. I just rolled my eyes and listened. Really, it was the theme of the season. Apparently perfection is what my dad seeks in his football team and the Ravens just aren't perfect.

So tonight I was quite surprised when my dad called to talk football again. He was talking to his brother today and it clicked for him. My team finished 5-11, his 12-4. My team needs major rebuilding and changes to have any hope of seeing the playoffs next year or the year after. His team has a decent shot of making it to the Superbowl this year. He said from now on he's going to try and be more positive about the Ravens when he's talking to me.

{You got that, right? Not more positive in general about this darn good team, just more positive when talking to me.}

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As another sad season of Redskins fandom came to a close, I did have a pretty happy football moment. I placed third in my fantasy football league! I'm up to three leagues these days, but this is the original league. The one that kicked off the obsession back in 2007. My record thus far was 7th place (twice), 6th and then 5th last year. Miracle upon miracles I skipped the expected 4th place ranking and jumped right to third! Score!

That meant winning $40. Money that I was happy to go spend today on super cute new red shoes and a fun coin purse. Totally what you're supposed to spend money you won betting on football on, right?