Saturday, May 5, 2012

Seriously, Mom?!?

I just wrapped up my second back to back weekend road trip with my mother. This time was to JMU for my little cousin's graduation. Yes, she's almost 22, but she's the baby of the family and a child I started babysitting for when she was an infant so she'll always be the little one in my eyes.

Anyway, the real news of the past 24 hours is not the graduate but the highly entertaining conversations I had with my mother.

I'll preface this by saying that my mom is the kindest person I know. She's so generous, she's sees the good in everyone, will talk to anyone and is just generally a great person. However, she doesn't also exhibit the most common sense.

Exhibit A:

Last night at dinner, I was feeling indecisive (as usual):

Me: "I'm not going to be ready to order until I have to tell her [the waitress] what I want"
Mom: "Oh, so you know what you want"

Exhibit B:

Background: My mom has 2 sisters

Me: "I'm playing words with friends with your sister"
Mom: she names one of them
Me: "No"
Mom: "Well then who?"
Me: Um, the other one.

Exhibit C:

As a child my mom shared her bedroom with her Aunt, who according to family legend always slept holding her purse in the bed with her. Apparently my mom picked up on that particular behavior as she started last night with her purse in the hotel bed with her. I guess it got a little annoying so she moved it to the floor, right next to the bed, where she could lean over and grab it. When I asked why that was necessary she responded with "Well, where's your purse?" I pointed to the table, across the room. She said "oh." I guess she was surprised the compulsion to have it by your side didn't continue on to my generation.

Should I take the compulsion to have the purse
 nearby as a sign she doesn't trust me?

Exhibit D: 

This one I didn't experience first hand, but got a phone call from my dad about once she got home. See, mom is always worried about getting lost. Always. She doesn't often actually get lost, especially not on the very easy drive up and down 95 between my house and hers, but still, she's super paranoid that she's going to do something wrong. 

So tonight she gets home and tells my dad she thought she went the wrong way on 95 when she first got on the highway. Not because of a road sign or a missed turn, no. Apparently she thought she must have gone the wrong way because "there were so many cars driving in the other direction."

After lots and lots of laughter I hung up the phone with my dad, not before suggesting he keep my mom close to home tomorrow as I think she's had enough excitement for one weekend. 

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